Private Confession & Absolution: An Antidote for Guilt and Apathy

Individual Confession & Absolution Service

I had a unique experience as a pastor the other other day. A member stopped by and asked about a time for Individual Confession & Absolution. A member asking for Private Confession!? 

I can count on one hand how many times that has happened. Then, a few days later, another member called and asked about the same thing! The timing of the two was not at all related. But it prompts me to speak more on this matter.

“But isn’t that a Catholic thing?”

Private Confession is associated with the Catholic Church. You tell a priest your sins, and he gives you penance, that is, works to prove you have a contrite heart, typically in the form of saying extra prayers. To non-Catholics, this private confession seems legalistic and ungenuine.

Talk to a devout Catholic, and they may have a much more positive view of why they go to confession. I won’t presume to speak for Catholics: I’ll teach what we believe and practice as Lutherans. 

Simply put, Private Confession is a neglected gift and tool for many Christians today. 

The first question that usually comes up is, “Why do I need this? Don’t I already have forgiveness from Jesus?”. Yes. But I would encourage us to sidestep this frame of questioning. This is not about obligation. Again, Private Confession is a gift, a tool for us in our repentance.
Asking if something is a need is asking for legalism. Should we ask if we need Baptism, Communion, to come to church, to have a pastor, to gather with other Christians? Should we ask how often we need to pray? 

When it comes to need, Jesus told Martha that Mary had chosen the one thing that is necessary: sitting at Jesus’ feet (Luke 10:42). 

When God blesses us, whether it’s through Baptism, Communion, or the general gathering of the saints, we value these things because it is where we have an opportunity to metaphorically sit at Jesus’ feet and receive from him. This is the case too with Confession and Absolution. 

John 20:19-23 & The Office of the Keys

We do a general Confession & Absolution at the beginning of our Divine Service. This is as valid and effective as any private confession to those who come as we say:  “…with a true heart, beseeching (requesting) Him in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to grant us forgiveness”. We do this in accordance with Jesus words in John 20, when he appeared to the apostles after his resurrection: 

21 Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.” 22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23  If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld.”

A major part of the role of called pastors is publically exercising this key given by Jesus. The Key is really Christ himself, his death has unlocked the penalty of sins for those who repent. He gives this key to his church to share; to announce to the repentant that they are truly free, but warning the unrepentant that their sins are still “locked”.

This forgiveness is granted in our general confession. We can always share it with each other on a personal level. But there is another option available. 

Vocal Repentance of Hidden Sins

Again, part of the pastor’s role is to be an undershepherd of Jesus’ lock flock. We have the opportunity to go confess our sins before our pastor. Vocalizing this confession, rather than simply saying it in our head as we often do when we pray, and knowing that someone else is hearing it has a powerful effect on the body and soul. You might think of how helpful it can be to have a close friend to confide in.

When we confess to a pastor, he is acting as one who is called to listen as with God’s ears, and to pronounce direct and intimate words of absolution. What a blessing to receive vocal & tangible absolution, especially for those specific sins which we couldn’t possibly imagine saying out loud to anyone else! And the pastor guards the words he heard confessed, that they would never be repeated, as if they were heard by God alone.

You might be reminded of the account of Nathan confronting David about his sins with Bathsheba & Uriah. God worked through is prophet to personally confront David, and it lead to a beautiful repentance, as we know well in the words of Psalm 51

God loves a contrite and returning heart. In contrast, Satan loves not just when we sin, but when we try to hide it! First he tempts us to sin, then he tempts us to believe it’s best just to bury those sins deep down.

They never go away, and they will lead to a spiritual festering. Satan can then lay on us guilt and shame, and make us wonder if God could possibly still love us. At these times, we may pray to God about it, oftentimes just in our head, or maybe out loud. Either way, it’s easy to get distracted, to be overcome with that guilt or shame, and we may leave our prayers unsure of what God thinks of us.

That’s why he sent his Word in the scriptures, as well as shepherds with authority to teach it when we doubt. What you may feel or think during times of guilt is subjective and wavering. But God’s Word is not. And when you fail to read or believe the words on the page, God sends a personal shepherd, a pastor, to preach these words more intimately for you. The pastor is to help reason with you through your sins, acknowledging their severity, but then proclaiming how much more precious is the Blood of the Lamb to pay for any and all of these sins.

After confessing to your pastor, he won’t assign penance. But he will talk with you about what can be done moving forward. It may mean apologizing to others, and working to make things right. Works do follow our repentant faith; they are inevitably moved by it. 

Confessing our Apathy

Private Confession is a wonderful gift for those “really bad sins”. But it can also lift us out of a spiritual rut from those not-quite-so-bad sins, but the ones that keep adding up and we just don’t seem to be doing any better. Private Confession can aid us here too.

Christians are especially prone to fall into a spiritual apathy. It goes like this: We know we’re sinners, we know Jesus loves us and forgives us, and we know that despite all of this we’ll continue to fall into sin no matter how much we try. So why try so hard?

 When we focus on this logic, we’re lulled into apathy, thinking we can basically do whatever we want, as long as it’s not TOO bad, and we’re going to be forgiven anyway. After all, who can recount all of their sins anyway? Why bother doing it much at all? 

This is not the Holy Spirit at work in us, but our sinful flesh.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German Lutheran pastor, called this cheap grace: 

“Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance…absolution without personal confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.”

If we are struggling with a sort of stale and apathetic spirit, then Private Confession is a good antidote! Go and make your lips utter your sins, especially your apathy, and own the feelings of remorse and guilt that should accompany! But then hear clearly the absolution: “In the stead and by the command of my Lord Jesus Christ, I forgive you all of your sins, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.” 

And then believe these words, and pray that the Holy Spirit would break your cold and stoney heart, that by faith you would be moved to live better. 

Do we need Private Confession & Absolution? It’s just not the right question. But we have so much to gain by it. Another opportunity to receive from our Lord. Consider it, pray about it, and if you feel so moved, reach out to your pastor about receiving this blessing.